What r u up 2? What are you up to? Whut ru up 2? Ahh, the day-to-day text message agony I go through. To abbreviate or not abbreviate? What punctuation? Will the receiver pick up on my subtle sarcasm? Should I send it now or wait? Oh! I almost forgot the smiley/winky face!! Disgusting, right? Yet we all do it: Text to our hearts content. I got the idea for this post while talking to a friend of mine about the prevalence of the text message in her love life. She met a guy, and he asked her out for drinks, via text. The date went pretty well, and there came a second proposal for drinks, via text.

Then a third, accompanied by a few more texts. "Is chivalry that dead?" she wondered. "He can’t even pick up his teeny tiny cell phone and call?" This sealed the deal for her. She hasn’t answered any of his messages. What a new phenomenon we are faced with. People weren’t even texting eight months ago. Heck, my word processor is even calling me out for spelling “texting” wrong! For something so on-the-cusp, it has really taken the dating world by storm. And daters are already taking sides on the issue. Some (like my friend) refuse to acknowledge this instant message as a proper way to ask a girl out, while others have all but traded their voices for a fast-moving thumb. Now for texting things like directions ("head south on Clark"), whereabouts ("we’re in the back of the bar"), or even yes-or-no questions ("do you like me?"), non-verbal communication is wholly acceptable.

But is it appropriate for a relationship? Probably not for anything severely romantic. I can just hear it now. “Oh my god, he texted it! He actually texted the words, I love you. Ahhhh!” Or, ya know, for a breakup. I’m sure it would have happened had texting been invented that day in middle school when I held hands with an equally prepubescent David Healey. But maybe it’s ok for a relationship's early stages. While it might not be the ballsiest form of communication, it has its perks. For one, texts allow you to maintain that air of mystery.

You don’t want to give too much away too early on. Like that nervous quaky voice. With the text, of course, comes a total loss of tonal nuance. This might become a problem when “yeah…thaaaanks for that AWESOME date to the DMV(eye-roll) Let’s do it again sometime…” looks like “thnx 4 awesome date to dmv. ttyl” See? You have no idea how I feel about that date now, do you? Is this me being adorably mysterious? Or just begging for another romantic day registering your new license plate? (Happened). But then there’s the freedom to appear nonchalant!

Sure, you could call, but nowadays that’s considered overkill. A call shows that you gave it thought and were in a premeditated place where you could speak freely of your love, with all the time in the world in case he or she wants to TALK about your relationship.

Now, the TEXT allows you to appear as if you are exerting less effort. Questions remain on the receiving end about your intentions. They’re thinking, "Maybe he’s too busy to call, he only had time to thumb out a few abbreviated words. How sexy!" Unless, of course, you’re me. Then it takes about three times as long to “type” which then requires editing, which leads to agonizing, which once actually led to saving the draft and calling a friend to ask about proper grammar, and if used, did it look like I was trying too hard. I can’t believe I am admitting this.

But you see my point. Not very nonchalant, or all that sexy. Or maybe the texter is just in a meeting and thinking of you and that awesome date last night. How cute. Now you can reread those few words, think about it all day and plan your clever return text. Or play hard to get and pretend you’re just as busy. But whatever you do, don’t call. Sooooo yesterday. xoxo! ;)

Q: What's the lamest/greatest text message you've ever gotten from a guy?

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