Chicagoans have lots of skills. Some are intriguing: A headline like “Ever get pulled over and have to give away your drivers license,” sort of draws me in. I guess a lot of people are having more fun / DUIs than I am.

* Let’s imagine that your car’s battery dies and you are either a.) too timid to ask a stranger or b.) were too cheap to join AAA in the first place. One option, I suppose, would be to call this complete stranger on the Northside, who is not affiliated with any automotive group but will visit you on the side of the highway for a “jump.” Ewww.

* You can find lots of people on Craigslist to help you build a lot of things, including a website for $250. Not too shabby there – I remember when people pretty much used to charge that an hour for web development.

* Ever think Kung Fu is for sissies? How about kicking it up a notch with Filipino Knife and Stick Fighting lessons? Fully licensed and bonded… by the Filipino mafia.

* Yes, we all love Ikea for its shoddy but pleasing construction. But after you’re done hauling it home and patting yourself on the back for the money you saved, you still need to assemble it yourself. But not anymore! The Shaumburg Ikea Delivery / Assembly Service has exactly what you need.

* Get Spanish lessons – over Skype!

* Finally, our sketchy post of the day is… a man who will teach one lucky woman (could it be YOU?) the arts of pleasuring a man. “Traveling expenses no prostitution…No serious relations, only lessons.” I’m sure this will end about as well as microwaving your cat. Except, perhaps, messier.

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